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Hands fall,  silent.
          Lightning/s shadow on the walls.
Water's kissing lips are closed.
    And all is left behind.

                Wind sketches the outside.
Falling stronger with no light.
      While the sounds of open hands.
                Rise Again.
©2005-2009 ~BeforeDawn
:iconbeforedawn:

Author's Comments

listen...







Preview pic from ~Pengringo. he just now put it up because i used it...

Comments


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:iconjappadaghost:
very nice... i like it =)

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:bulletblue::pointr:~No.More.Boxes.In.Box.Town~:pointl::bulletblue:
:iconpengringo:
I like this very much, full of sensual imagery (especially visual and tactile).

"Lightning/s shadow on the walls."

My favourite line, and is ironic in nature. While light(ning) casts shadows, it is impossible for a source of light to have a shadow, since all darkness depends on the absence of light.

"Water's kissing lips are closed.
And all is left behind."

From this I get a sense teasing, a tactile feeling that a source of beauty is held before me, yet keeps its arms closed and never opens up.

Overall, wonderfully done, keep up the great work!

--
"Hell, nobody is perfect. If you ask me, it is our imperfections that make us great."

Visit these too ~BeforeDawn ~Blyzzard ~bobthedinosaur ~flawed-helix ~survived-abortion

Member of *macrophoto
:iconjappadaghost:
ur welcome =)

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:bulletblue::pointr:~No.More.Boxes.In.Box.Town~:pointl::bulletblue:
:iconjappadaghost:
ur welcome =)

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:bulletblue::pointr:~No.More.Boxes.In.Box.Town~:pointl::bulletblue:
:iconsurvived-abortion:
it leaves very vivid images in my head.. well done!! very little poets are able to do that nowadays. but does your preview pic have anything to do with your poem? it sort of mislead me when i first read it. :) anyways.. well done. you're a wonderful writer!!!

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:fusionrock: -- "God will grovel before me" --

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proud member of:
=carnival-macabre ~serial-killers
:iconflawed-helix:
Wonderful imagery and beautiful use of metaphors. I love the work in itself, and the deep sense of perception that I can take from it. Wonderful work.

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* I lie here, wondering: What do I do now, and does it even matter? * ~flawed-helix
:iconbeforedawn:
yay. thankya much :glomp:

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[:
:iconbeforedawn:
the pic? not really. i liked it, and it had water in it. i wanted to go more witht he water than anything. and it contrasts the poem much so becuz the poem, i think, leaves a feeling of a closed space. and the picture is out in the open.

thankyou so much for the praise. am i really that amazing? ^^

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[:

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May 9, 2005
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